Saturday, February 26, 2011

Images of life




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Thursday, February 24, 2011

It's Alive!!

I was really on top of blogging every day for the first week of the month.  

And then, as always, life got in the way.

I started a post that's still in my draft bin.  It starts out discussing gossips and generally crappy people but finishes in thoughts about true friendship.  I felt so conflicted about the situation that made me start the post that I avoided my blog for a few days.  

A few days turned into two weeks with the baby getting sick again, me working like crazy, me getting sick, and now being at work again because of sick days and a snow day.  

Life...sometimes I feel like I'm just hanging on by my nails.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Because I mostly ramble about myself...

I'm posting a couple pictures of the adorable monster living in my home in an attempt to balance the narcissim of this supposedly family blog.
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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: #16-20

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because we are not the Borg?  This seems a bit silly.  I'm not everyone and everyone is not me.  If we all liked the same things it would be interesting for about five minutes and then the world would become profoundly boring.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What's holding you back? 
Travel to Ireland with my husband.  We are poor, unstable financially, and in the lucky possession of an adorable daughter who we really couldn't imagine a) leaving for two or three weeks and b) taking with us at her age on an international trip for two or three weeks.  Thus, we remain home for the time being, biding our time for a fantastic trip someday.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
It comes to my attention at surprising times that I am working my way toward letting go of some deep hurts from a high school/college friend and some people from my sorority.  I think I'm really only pinky-holding onto everything but I'm not completely over being angry or less-than-amused at several individuals who had more control over me emotionally than I care to admit and who were, in the case of high school friend, bossy, judgmental, and demeaning, and in the case of the others, careless and hurtful in one phenomenal stroke.  I'm working on forgiveness and I have done it for the most part but there are times memories of those experiences come back and more anger or disgust than I anticipate floods forth.  My emotions, like their creator, are a work in progress.


19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
The answer to this question really depends on the day.  Foreign country would absolutely have to be Britain.  I have often told my husband that if he were to ever find a job there, I'd sell or store all of our stuff and move in a heartbeat.  :)


Depending on my mood, I alternately think it would be lovely to be in California nearer to my family or in South Carolina nearer to my friends or Pittsburgh nearer to the other side of the family.  They are all so far away and different that it's really just wishing but there you have it.  If I could find a way to fold the country so that the two sides of the ocean were closer together, I would.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Yep.  Nope.  Just for fun.  Who doesn't like pushing buttons?!



Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday Blahs

  1. I slept horribly and dreamt about my daughter choking on food or drowning - ick.
  2. A group of gym-y type people took over the general space left at the Y for stretching to do a little calisthenics class of their own so I was left to do my stretching kind of in a pathway/open area with no mat.
  3. I got to the gym late because of an internal argument over sleep and thus had 4 of the 6 showers occupied, leaving me either the handicap one or a center one.  I chose the center one thinking someone else might need the wider stall with the seat and I ended up with the one with a clogged drain.  I had to block the mental image of all this dirty (and not all my) water pooling around my ankles and shower as quickly as possible.
  4. I left my cell phone at home.
  5. I had meeting, meeting, client meeting, meeting before I even got to have a sip of my coffee this morning.
  6. My throat is sore and I just don't have time to be sick.
Grr.  Monday go away.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

The dog speaks for all

How can the weekend already be over?!?
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Friday, February 4, 2011

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: #11-15

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
I claim her for a friend and stand up for her against their unjustified criticism.  I've had to do it before and I'd do it again. 

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
You start out life not caring what others think of you, your likes/dislikes, and the people you love.  Somewhere after that you start caring and it's a long road to figuring out that life is much better and much happier if you're not worried about what your friend/classmate/significant other feels about your outfits or favorite band or whatever.  Remember that it's good to be unique - life is a lot more fun that way.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
What law and what kind of saving?  Murder so they don't lose their job - probably not.  Stealing so they aren't themselves murdered - probably so.  But then the question is stealing what and from who?  I will move heaven and earth to protect my family from predators and to ensure my child can grow up healthy and happy but I think there are moral factors at play with my statement.  *pause*  I don't know that I really answered that question but I think it's really more of a discussion over good wine than it is a singular answerable question in a blog.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Perhaps not clearly in my own life but don't we all see it when we look at the paintings of Van Gogh or read the poetry of Sylvia Plath?  I'm sure I could think of times where I got elbows deep into a story, a home reorganization, or a photography project and thought "Okay, I've officially gone off the deep end" but later realized I wasn't as off-point as I thought I was.

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Hmm...I love reading magazines back to front - starting with the fluffly end piece and working my way to the fluffy beginning pieces.  I don't know why I do it but I do.  I also make Beef Stroganoff with those crunchy noodles you get at Chinese restaurants instead of egg noodles.  However, that's a family thing so that can't be TOO different.  hehe

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Safety

Today there was a shooting in our apartment complex. I'd like to say this was a bizarre and unique situation but I can't. We have lived here for 16 months and in that time there have been two shootings and one drug bust. There's also been booming car bass, wandering drunks, and the annual Christmas mega-party for our downstairs neighbors.

We thought we could move out after January 1 but no go. We're stuck. I'd give anything for a better feeling of safety (not to mention more space and a yard) but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

At least our immediate neighbors are nice and our roof and walls are solid.
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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

January Books

I tried this last year to no avail.  I'd really like to keep a going record of the books I read (aside from such literary classics as "That's Not My Monkey" and "Animal Noises" and "Baby Talk" - hehe)

January was a pretty sparse month for literature.  I believe I only completed two books.

The Lampshade: A Holocaust Detective Story from Buchenwald to New Orleans by Mark Jacobson
This was a fascinating book that was not what I thought it would be.  I expected a historical adventure from Point A to Point B in trying to ascertain whether an inherited lampshade found during the aftermath of Katrina was human in orgin and, if so, who it was.  Instead, this was a meandering tale of research, interviews, and travel set against the backdrop of culture, racism, and introspection into the human condition.  All told, it was a really thought-provoking and well-written book.  It's a touch morbid, how could it not be, but I would recommend it to everyone who wants to think a little bit more deeply about what pain humans inflict on one another and how interconnected the human experience truly is.

Elephants Can Remember by Agatha Christie
I started this book in October of 2009 when living with my wonderful friend Rebekah while Craig was already on the West Coast.  I wasn't too far into it when I moved and thus had to leave it semi-read.  I again picked it up at Rebekah's when the Family Falvo stayed with her in November of 2010 while in town for my awesome friend Lindsay's wedding.  I was within 50 pages of finishing when again I had to leave, thus leaving it mostly-read.  I *finally* remembered to check in out in January of 2011 from our library and *finally* finished it!  Woot!  It was lovely, as most Agatha Christies are. 

I've been mulling over a number of different reading goals this year.  I think the more audacious goal is to read through the whole of Kurt Vonnegut's works and perhaps a slightly fluffier goal would be the same read-through of Agatha Christie.  It remains to be seen what I'll settle on because the list of books to read keeps growing and my time to read is to short with an active child.  :)

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: #6-10

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
I would be in heaven if I could be paid to research and write on the histories of places and buildings but in a job that also gave me an outlet for human interaction.  I love digging into a subject and finding out about it but I also really enjoy working with people - helping someone makes my day.  I don't know if that kind of job is out there but that would make me very happy.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I don't know if this question relates to my employment or my general existence so I'll make it a two part answer. 

In relation to my employment, I work for an estate planning law firm as a paralegal in charge of assisting people with the funding of their trusts.  I really enjoy what I do and I love that it is not a litigation firm but a firm of people truly committed to helping people figure out how best to plan for the time when they pass away, ie. how best to carry out their wishes.  We have a lot of really neat clients and the staff at the firm is great.  To the question above, I suppose I do believe in providing people with the guidance to ensure that what they want done with estates is carried out after their passing.  Sometimes it gets weird and hateful and paranoid but in general most people just want to make it easier for their kids to figure out how to handle things and that feels good at the end of the day. 

In relation to my life, I am not doing enough and I think I'm settling.  I'd really like to donate more of my time to historical/cultural resource organizations and to people in need.  I'm having a hard time finding time (haha) because I work a very full full-time job, clean as a second job to get a bit of extra money, and try to spend the rest of my waking hours with my family.  I'm trying each year to find a little bit of extra time or money to get involved in things that make the world a better, happier place for me and for people elsewhere.  It's a struggle to think beyond me but I'm working on it.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I don't really know.  I think the question should be how would I have lived it differently because if I was only going to live 40 years, I'd be in the last quarter of my life at this point.  I probably would have reconsidered graduate school and put more money to travel.  I might also have considered marriage and kids earlier or not at all.  Perhaps the lesson learned from this question is that I would have wanted to travel more and that seems such a distant goal right now.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Hmm, tough question.  I think it's been a joint venture between God and myself.  I've made the decisions -college, jobs, graduate school, marriage, moving - but when I've gotten myself into rough or gray areas, I absolutely cannot discount a little deus ex machina with a capital letter guiding me to the next step.  It's been the most amazing part of my life to watch how it unfolds, bidden or not.  :) 

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Absolutely the right things.  Sure, I'd like to get said right things right but I worry more about doing the appropriate/moral/respectable thing rather than doing whatever correctly. 

More to come!  :)  These are actually fun if I don't think too much about them.  haha

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Relaxation in strange places

If I am good to my body and my mind, I get up at least 3-4 days a week and go to the gym before work.  I never thought I would be one of those early morning gym rats.  I thought I would loath showering and getting ready in a gym locker room.

I was wrong.

I LOVE getting ready at the gym.  There's no waiting for shower space, no jostling for mirror/counter space, no juggling dog and baby to make sure everyone is changed, walked, fed, and set while my hair dries strangely on my head.  I get ready in record time in relative silence.  Occasional footsteps, showers, and locker noises provide a nice buffer to the outside world.  I don't feel rushed and I'm always on time or early to work on days I go to the gym.

The downside to all of this is small but there.  It's so hard sometimes to get out of bed at 4:50 or 5am.  I miss seeing my baby girl in the morning but I pick her up from daycare and get to spend more time in the evening with her. 

This is a relatively pointless post but I was thinking in the shower on Monday that I am such a happier, more put-together person on days I can haul my butt out of bed and get to the gym.  Teh awesome.  ;)