Today I was a bit flabbergasted at comment made by someone in relation to the budget issues going on at Craig's job. I was sitting with my friend, who is the associate pastor's wife, this evening and this person began to speak with her about this issue and the comments were such that my mouth actually dropped open a bit. (The budget issues affect all staff, by the way, so this was directly mostly toward her husband and somewhat toward mine.) The person didn't mean it as such but was saying things that were a touch bullying and a whole lot of naive. Now, this person is somewhat of an outspoken individual anyway but it was a bit over the top, even for them. My friend kept her cool, responded politely but frankly, while the person didn't get it per se, stopped spouting bossy nonsense.
I was texting her later about it and the whole situation made me smile. I'm all about silver lining these days and she is my silver lining. If we hadn't taken this job, we would not have moved this state and she and I would never have met. This got me thinking about how we, as adults, label our friends/acquaintances/etc.
The terms BFF or "bestie" or "best friend" are ones that feel awkward coming out of my mouth. My husband is my best friend. I don't have a gaggle of BFFs or, as one friend refers to her best her "hetero lobster." I always wondered why I hesitate before calling those I am closest to my "best" friend. Possibly because it seems odd to have more than one best friend. Possibly, and this is just a me thing, it feels strangely high school coming out of my mouth. That's not to say that I think those with best friends in the traditional sense are juvenile. It's just a weird me thing.
However, this evening after putting the phone down after texting my friend, it dawned on me. I am a friendly person and can get along with a lot of people. I have lots of friends but those that are closer to me, more important/special to me are kindred spirits. People who get me in a way that few do and in different ways from each other. Thus, they can't be best friends in my mind because they aren't better than each other just different.
Roll Call of Awesomeness:
Kate in Texas - She set the conversation bar for all future friends the first time we met when we talked for four hours about everything from tv to shopping to religion to ex-boyfriends. It was epic. We haven't lived in the same state in almost 4 years and we don't talk on the phone as often as either of us would like (damn you life and family and work) but she's that friend who I always want to run things by, who I can count on to support me in my mini-panics of life, and who I long to have a girl's weekend with where we bring copious bottles of wine, old pictures from our ugly years, MST3K movies, and laugh until we can't cry anymore.
Lindsay in South Carolina - She's like the little sister I never had. She's the rock and the worrier and for that I love her. She and I studied in the same specialization, tolerated the same people on a 6 1/2 week field school in England, and worked at the same job post-graduation. We've shared notes, project work, laughs, advice, office space. She was the practical to my impractical, the memory to my lack thereof. We chat often online and I harbor not-so-secret hopes she and her awesome hubby come visit so we can geek our way through the area on a historical architectural tour with Craig tailing along rolling his eyes. hehe
Rebekah in South Carolina - First, tour guide. Second, supervisor. She's the outrageous life of the party with brains and beauty to boot. She's offered her alcohol, her shoulder, and her home when I needed it. She was in my wedding (and gracious enough to accept my offer belatedly when she should have been one of the first I asked) and she was at the first Falvo Thanksgiving as the most honored/awesome houseguest. She's a true blue loyal friend. I think each and every time I listen to Ke$ha (and that's a lot lately - yay mindless workout music!)
Kristen in Alabama - One of my closest college friends, we're on opposite ends of the voting spectrum but that's never stopped us from having great conversations, supporting one another when necessary, and always wishing we lived closer. She's one of the strongest, most confident people I know and rightfully so. I aspire to be as smart as she is.
Stephanie in California - We met at a Weight Watcher meeting and realized we knew of each other but had never met. She was four years ahead of me in school. I as an 8th grader attended her final chorale show as a senior and fell in love with Les Miserables due to one of their numbers. She's very proud of that fact. She and her hubs are teh shit and made my last year in California wonderful. We're not the best at keeping contact but my coffee with her last November when I was home was the highlight of my trip - no joke. She's glamorous, smart, and the kind of person you can trust with anything. She even stayed friend with me when another friend of mine was kind of a regular bitch to her. She sets the bar for class. When I daydream about moving back to California to live, she is one of the first things on the Pro side of my Pro/Con list.
Deb in Washington - She's the one who inspired me to write this post. She and her family are my silver lining. Her friendship makes this whole "Moving across the country for a job which ended up being an excellent lesson in life wrapped in shit" episode worth it. Smart, hilarious, confidant, and accepting of all - she's awesome. She let me tag along as a lonely unemployed/semi-employed preggo when we first moved here. She answered my hysterical 7am call after a 12 hr night shift when my cat died and took care of me that day. She was the first visitor to the hospital after Ella was born. She's my workout buddy and my bitch buddy. She and her hubs and her family have included us on holidays and made us feel like we have roots (tiny but growing ones) here in the Pac NW. I don't know how I could go through all of this shit with Craig's job without her.
Honorable Mention One: Sue in Virginia Beach (Hi Sue - I know you read this!) I was only lucky enough to know Sue in person for a few months when I worked in Virginia Beach. She and her hubs are SO awesome! She was so much fun to work with and get to know! Sadly, I got another (crazy busy) job and I never managed to make it back to visit with her. Then I moved coasts so she and the hubs never made it down to visit us in Columbia. She was so much fun at a time when I was a pretty lonely gal. I know she and her husband take cruises so I keep hoping she'll tell me they're taking an Alaska cruise out of Seattle and we can visit! :D
Honorable Mention Two: Seminary - everyone at seminary who we drank with, laughed with, ate Indian food with, and watched Project Runway/Bachelor/etc with. Ryan, Christy, Dave, Lauren, Wade, Irina, Steve, Stacey, Kristy, Michelle, Brad - and everyone else I didn't type out. I love Facebook if only that I can keep in touch, however faint of touch, with all of you. Our years in Cola would not have been as wonderful as they were without you. It was the perfect storm of awesome. :D
These women (and several of their husbands) are reasons I count myself blessed. They have made an impact on my life, on my husband's life, on my child's. There are times when I look over Facebook and see a lot of friends from my hometown who own houses and have their same group they had in high school and I feel a twinge of envy that they have family and friends all within easy visiting distance and little debt because they haven't spent a large part of their adulthood traveling around. It's then that I remember that if I hadn't made the choices I did I would never have met the women listed above and the countless other friends (Hey to grad school friends, seminary friends, job friends) who I have met along the way. Until we develop teleportation as a cheap and viable means of travel, I will always slightly envy those who can have Happy Hours regularly with their besties or Sunday dinners with the family but I wouldn't trade these friends for ease of contact for anything in the world.
Roll Call of Awesomeness:
Kate in Texas - She set the conversation bar for all future friends the first time we met when we talked for four hours about everything from tv to shopping to religion to ex-boyfriends. It was epic. We haven't lived in the same state in almost 4 years and we don't talk on the phone as often as either of us would like (damn you life and family and work) but she's that friend who I always want to run things by, who I can count on to support me in my mini-panics of life, and who I long to have a girl's weekend with where we bring copious bottles of wine, old pictures from our ugly years, MST3K movies, and laugh until we can't cry anymore.
Lindsay in South Carolina - She's like the little sister I never had. She's the rock and the worrier and for that I love her. She and I studied in the same specialization, tolerated the same people on a 6 1/2 week field school in England, and worked at the same job post-graduation. We've shared notes, project work, laughs, advice, office space. She was the practical to my impractical, the memory to my lack thereof. We chat often online and I harbor not-so-secret hopes she and her awesome hubby come visit so we can geek our way through the area on a historical architectural tour with Craig tailing along rolling his eyes. hehe
Rebekah in South Carolina - First, tour guide. Second, supervisor. She's the outrageous life of the party with brains and beauty to boot. She's offered her alcohol, her shoulder, and her home when I needed it. She was in my wedding (and gracious enough to accept my offer belatedly when she should have been one of the first I asked) and she was at the first Falvo Thanksgiving as the most honored/awesome houseguest. She's a true blue loyal friend. I think each and every time I listen to Ke$ha (and that's a lot lately - yay mindless workout music!)
Kristen in Alabama - One of my closest college friends, we're on opposite ends of the voting spectrum but that's never stopped us from having great conversations, supporting one another when necessary, and always wishing we lived closer. She's one of the strongest, most confident people I know and rightfully so. I aspire to be as smart as she is.
Stephanie in California - We met at a Weight Watcher meeting and realized we knew of each other but had never met. She was four years ahead of me in school. I as an 8th grader attended her final chorale show as a senior and fell in love with Les Miserables due to one of their numbers. She's very proud of that fact. She and her hubs are teh shit and made my last year in California wonderful. We're not the best at keeping contact but my coffee with her last November when I was home was the highlight of my trip - no joke. She's glamorous, smart, and the kind of person you can trust with anything. She even stayed friend with me when another friend of mine was kind of a regular bitch to her. She sets the bar for class. When I daydream about moving back to California to live, she is one of the first things on the Pro side of my Pro/Con list.
Deb in Washington - She's the one who inspired me to write this post. She and her family are my silver lining. Her friendship makes this whole "Moving across the country for a job which ended up being an excellent lesson in life wrapped in shit" episode worth it. Smart, hilarious, confidant, and accepting of all - she's awesome. She let me tag along as a lonely unemployed/semi-employed preggo when we first moved here. She answered my hysterical 7am call after a 12 hr night shift when my cat died and took care of me that day. She was the first visitor to the hospital after Ella was born. She's my workout buddy and my bitch buddy. She and her hubs and her family have included us on holidays and made us feel like we have roots (tiny but growing ones) here in the Pac NW. I don't know how I could go through all of this shit with Craig's job without her.
Honorable Mention One: Sue in Virginia Beach (Hi Sue - I know you read this!) I was only lucky enough to know Sue in person for a few months when I worked in Virginia Beach. She and her hubs are SO awesome! She was so much fun to work with and get to know! Sadly, I got another (crazy busy) job and I never managed to make it back to visit with her. Then I moved coasts so she and the hubs never made it down to visit us in Columbia. She was so much fun at a time when I was a pretty lonely gal. I know she and her husband take cruises so I keep hoping she'll tell me they're taking an Alaska cruise out of Seattle and we can visit! :D
Honorable Mention Two: Seminary - everyone at seminary who we drank with, laughed with, ate Indian food with, and watched Project Runway/Bachelor/etc with. Ryan, Christy, Dave, Lauren, Wade, Irina, Steve, Stacey, Kristy, Michelle, Brad - and everyone else I didn't type out. I love Facebook if only that I can keep in touch, however faint of touch, with all of you. Our years in Cola would not have been as wonderful as they were without you. It was the perfect storm of awesome. :D
These women (and several of their husbands) are reasons I count myself blessed. They have made an impact on my life, on my husband's life, on my child's. There are times when I look over Facebook and see a lot of friends from my hometown who own houses and have their same group they had in high school and I feel a twinge of envy that they have family and friends all within easy visiting distance and little debt because they haven't spent a large part of their adulthood traveling around. It's then that I remember that if I hadn't made the choices I did I would never have met the women listed above and the countless other friends (Hey to grad school friends, seminary friends, job friends) who I have met along the way. Until we develop teleportation as a cheap and viable means of travel, I will always slightly envy those who can have Happy Hours regularly with their besties or Sunday dinners with the family but I wouldn't trade these friends for ease of contact for anything in the world.
