Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Thinking and Thinking

I had a breakdown yesterday for the first time in a long time. It snowballed from "I think I want rolls for dinner" to an existential crisis of epic proportions "Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why do I feel like I'm succeeding at so little when I'm doing so much?" Blah blah blah. I was completely caught off-guard by the intensity of these feelings of overwhelming chaos and hopelessness. Fortunately, I arrived home to a smiling baby who wanted nothing more than to be cuddled and most of those feelings melted away. By the end of the night, Craig and I were laughing and smiling - far removed from the foul feelings of earlier.







While the crappy feelings are gone, thank goodness, but a powerful sense of being rudderless remains. I have work and family right now without much else. I feel exhausted, the house is a mess, and so on and so forth. I was reciting all of this to myself last night on my mopey drive home when a voice in my head said, "Hey, buck up. There is no reason you can't keep a house clean, pick up a hobby, and still be an awesome employee, wife, and mother. Countless people do it all the time. Learn to manage your time, dumbass."





And thus, in response to the harpy in my head I am instituting a plan of action! Family trips on the weekend - even if it's just to the park by the house! Mini-cleaning bursts in the morning and evening to keep on top of the clutter! Gym starting in October! Crafts!





It sounds like a lot but in reality, I'm just focusing on the little things that can keep my life jointly orderly and interesting.





My first (and probably for quite awhile my only) craft project is:



Stockings for the family courtesy a pattern from McCall ! It seems simple enough but I've also never sewed anything in my life so what do I know!? Regardless, this will be worth trying and probably fun and rewarding to boot!


Thursday, September 9, 2010

October's Potential

We're getting a gym membership in October!!! I'm so excited I'm using more than one exclamation point!! :)

I'm working a small extra job doing some cleaning in order to help save a bit more money. Craig and I sat down and crunched numbers in our budget and realized we could get a membership at the local YMCA and STILL save some from this new job. Woot! I've been DYING to get back to doing something active since Ella's arrival. Sadly, it means I'll have to get up crazy early and work out in the mornings, therefore missing breakfast and baby time in the morning but it'll get me fit and still give me time in the evenings to play with the Monster. :)

I can hardly wait for it to be October! Woot!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Pumpkin in the Air

Summer was a very brief thing here in the Northwest. I shivered my way through the 4th of July, sweated a few times in the following two months, and find myself standing at the beginning of September and thinking I need to pull the "cold weather clothing bin" which admittedly does not have too much in it but there you go.

Autumn has arrived. There is a bite to the air. The rain is coming back. And you know what, I'm okay with that. Craig and I spent last evening after Ella had gone to bed for the night, watching Better Off Ted on Netflix (funny show - it's a shame it was cancelled after just a season and a half when drivel like According to Jim ran for 8 seasons). I was stretched out on the couch, cozy under a down throw and a warm cat in my lap. I had opened the window behind my head a crack to get a little air flow. I laid there for a few minutes post window-opening before it dawned on me that it officially smelled like fall. Yeah, it's September. Yeah, the stores are already changing the displays from school supplies to Halloween. Yeah, the Pumpkins Spice Latte is back at Starbucks. It didn't sink in that our brief summer was fading out and we were ebbing back into cold weather until I smelled that damp, sweet fall smell spilling in from the window.

I should be upset that summer is leaving us once again and we're in for a long wet season but I'm not. I'm inexplicably happy. This damp, cold season means jackets and scarves, baking bread and making soups, cute stockings and jackets for Ella, football, brisk walks down to the Sound on the weekend with the whole family (minus Pecan who probably wouldn't tolerate a leash so much...haha), and warm homes against the cold outside. I don't know why this makes me happier than it usually does. It could be because we live in a place that gets a little colder/damper and therefore more seasonal. It could be because this will be Ella's first holiday season and I'm beyond excited for Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas experiences with my baby even though she won't get it and really won't care. It could be because I love where we are and I'm feeling settled potential about life.

Whatever the reason, I think it's a good time to make up a pot of yummy soup, put on fuzzy slippers, finish the night with a pumpkin latte, and revel in the season! :D

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Pretty much the cutest thing ever!


5 months old and a happy, happy girl

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

September Already?!

September is here at my doorstep and it has shown up with gifts: dwindling free time, a bit of extra work to bring a bit of extra money in, and a reminder that the hellish month of October is mere steps away (hellish for work and briefly heavenly for a mini-vacation to Kate's wedding!).

I'm going to try to stay up to date on the blog in order to a) keep it interesting and b) keep my head on straight by blogging my way through a bunch of mini-goals I'll be setting for myself.

My mini-goals for this week are:

Mini-goal 1: Finally sit down and put fingers to keyboard to write about Ella's first trip across the country, my last visit with my grandma, and her subsequent passing.

Mini-goal 2: Blog/picture entry about the recent visit with the inlaws - lots of fun!

Mini-goal 3: Head over to Joanne Fabric and wander the aisles in an attempt to finally narrow down craft project/fabric choices for my first stab at true craftiness - making stockings for the family!

Mini-goal 3.5: Blog about said laughably ambitious craft project and its progress!

Whew! That's quite a lot for a week that still has work, work II, and housework not to mention finally getting back into the flow after my trip to Indiana and a week long visit from family. I feel as if it's been ages since I've been restful in my home.