Back in the Saddle Again

Whew! Life's been crazy! Since August I've flown four times, been in five states outside of Washington, mourned a relative, celebrated two weddings, and spent Thanksgiving in my hometown for the first time since 2004. It's been an expensive, exhausting, and completely worth it whirlwind adventure.

I haven't blogged in a while mostly because I haven't had time or nice things to say but I've decided I need this outlet. I need to champion my family, rage at the world, and detail the minutia of my life. It helps me get it all out and channels my energy.

Things on my plate right now:

1. Fitness Re-Boot. I have the gym membership I've been craving for so long and I LOOVE it. However, to get in my workout for the day and still be a present member of my family, my workout slot is 5am. This, I do not love. I was very good about going for a while but travel and bad weather have conspired with my innate laziness and I haven't been in quite a while. I will be there tomorrow, high waters be damned (we have had a lot of high water around these parts lately...hell, not so much)! I've resigned up for SparkPeople to track my fitness and my food and it's telling me that if I keep this up fairly consistently, I could be at my ultimate healthy weight by next Christmas. :) Merry Christmas to me!
2. Crafting Ahoy! My goal this year was to craft and I've been semi-successful. I am always working on Ella's baby book. I have even started playing around with other scrapbooks (England 2006, Wedding 2007, etc) but those aren't really started yet. Over Thanksgiving, my mom and I made one of the three stockings I wanted to complete by Christmas this year. The pieces are cut out for the other ones but I haven't really had the time or space to do any sewing. I'm planning on devoting a chunk of time this weekend to it in order to bang out the rest. It's 11 days until Christmas - can I have them done in time for Santa?
3. Cleaning, Cleaning, Always Cleaning We have a tiny apartment and due to our own financial problems and some job worries, we won't be able to move any time soon. Therefore, we have been slowly culling through everything to determine what we really need and what can either be pitched, donated, or sold. It's a work in progress but it always feels nice to make a little bit more room.

Life hasn't worked out exactly as planned lately (when does it?) and I've been working through phases of anger, despair, anger again, and acceptance. We're blessed to have health, love, family, and (as of right now anyway) a room over our head and food for our baby so we can't really complain.

I promise to keep up with blogging a bit more. I'm sure all two of you who read this are thrilled. :)

Thinking and Thinking

I had a breakdown yesterday for the first time in a long time. It snowballed from "I think I want rolls for dinner" to an existential crisis of epic proportions "Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why do I feel like I'm succeeding at so little when I'm doing so much?" Blah blah blah. I was completely caught off-guard by the intensity of these feelings of overwhelming chaos and hopelessness. Fortunately, I arrived home to a smiling baby who wanted nothing more than to be cuddled and most of those feelings melted away. By the end of the night, Craig and I were laughing and smiling - far removed from the foul feelings of earlier.







While the crappy feelings are gone, thank goodness, but a powerful sense of being rudderless remains. I have work and family right now without much else. I feel exhausted, the house is a mess, and so on and so forth. I was reciting all of this to myself last night on my mopey drive home when a voice in my head said, "Hey, buck up. There is no reason you can't keep a house clean, pick up a hobby, and still be an awesome employee, wife, and mother. Countless people do it all the time. Learn to manage your time, dumbass."





And thus, in response to the harpy in my head I am instituting a plan of action! Family trips on the weekend - even if it's just to the park by the house! Mini-cleaning bursts in the morning and evening to keep on top of the clutter! Gym starting in October! Crafts!





It sounds like a lot but in reality, I'm just focusing on the little things that can keep my life jointly orderly and interesting.





My first (and probably for quite awhile my only) craft project is:

Stockings for the family courtesy a pattern from McCall ! It seems simple enough but I've also never sewed anything in my life so what do I know!? Regardless, this will be worth trying and probably fun and rewarding to boot!

September Already?!

September is here at my doorstep and it has shown up with gifts: dwindling free time, a bit of extra work to bring a bit of extra money in, and a reminder that the hellish month of October is mere steps away (hellish for work and briefly heavenly for a mini-vacation to Kate's wedding!).

I'm going to try to stay up to date on the blog in order to a) keep it interesting and b) keep my head on straight by blogging my way through a bunch of mini-goals I'll be setting for myself.

My mini-goals for this week are:

Mini-goal 1: Finally sit down and put fingers to keyboard to write about Ella's first trip across the country, my last visit with my grandma, and her subsequent passing.

Mini-goal 2: Blog/picture entry about the recent visit with the inlaws - lots of fun!

Mini-goal 3: Head over to Joanne Fabric and wander the aisles in an attempt to finally narrow down craft project/fabric choices for my first stab at true craftiness - making stockings for the family!

Mini-goal 3.5: Blog about said laughably ambitious craft project and its progress!

Whew! That's quite a lot for a week that still has work, work II, and housework not to mention finally getting back into the flow after my trip to Indiana and a week long visit from family. I feel as if it's been ages since I've been restful in my home.