Thinking and Thinking

I had a breakdown yesterday for the first time in a long time. It snowballed from "I think I want rolls for dinner" to an existential crisis of epic proportions "Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why do I feel like I'm succeeding at so little when I'm doing so much?" Blah blah blah. I was completely caught off-guard by the intensity of these feelings of overwhelming chaos and hopelessness. Fortunately, I arrived home to a smiling baby who wanted nothing more than to be cuddled and most of those feelings melted away. By the end of the night, Craig and I were laughing and smiling - far removed from the foul feelings of earlier.







While the crappy feelings are gone, thank goodness, but a powerful sense of being rudderless remains. I have work and family right now without much else. I feel exhausted, the house is a mess, and so on and so forth. I was reciting all of this to myself last night on my mopey drive home when a voice in my head said, "Hey, buck up. There is no reason you can't keep a house clean, pick up a hobby, and still be an awesome employee, wife, and mother. Countless people do it all the time. Learn to manage your time, dumbass."





And thus, in response to the harpy in my head I am instituting a plan of action! Family trips on the weekend - even if it's just to the park by the house! Mini-cleaning bursts in the morning and evening to keep on top of the clutter! Gym starting in October! Crafts!





It sounds like a lot but in reality, I'm just focusing on the little things that can keep my life jointly orderly and interesting.





My first (and probably for quite awhile my only) craft project is:

Stockings for the family courtesy a pattern from McCall ! It seems simple enough but I've also never sewed anything in my life so what do I know!? Regardless, this will be worth trying and probably fun and rewarding to boot!