Tiny Heartbeats!

This is a belated post for which I plead hardship and laziness! I didn't have internet at home at the time and I can't get to blogger at work!

I went in for my third doctor's appointment on October 1st. I was, as I am at all visits, nervous that even though there have been no signs there is something wrong. At the appointment previously, the doctor couldn't pick up the heartbeat because the Bean kept moving around like crazy. We saw it on the ultrasound and the doctor said she saw a strong heartbeat but we couldn't hear anything. This visit was to listen to the heart and just make sure all was okay. I was worried (because that's what I do) and hoped everything was okay. Luckily everything went perfectly!

My blood pressure was lower than last time and spot on perfect! I gained a whole 1lb which is exactly what the doctor told me I should gain in a month. So weight-wise I'm now back at my pre-prego weight. I gained gained 3 right away, lost 4 during the remainder of the 1st trimester, and this 1 lb gain means I'm back. Yay! (This may seem obsessive to some but being overweight, I'm watching this closely to make sure I'm a safe place for the Bean to grow!)

And...the best news of all...I heard the heartbeat! It was a strong, steady 156 bpm. :) So cool! The doctor was really happy with that and said everything felt/looked great! My belly's starting to poke out but it hasn't done the rounded prego thing - I just look like I've been eating junk food a lot. :)

I'm hoping that the new OB (no, I don't have one yet but we're still waiting on our new insurance information) will want to do the big ultrasound that tells us "boy vs girl" sooner rather than later. I'm now 17 weeks so by the time I'm up in the Seattle area and have an appointment I'll be around 20 weeks or later! Can't wait! :)

Ahh...hormones

I wanted to title this "You know you're pregnant when..." but the truth be told, I've been really lucky when it comes to pregnancy symptoms. I haven't had morning sickness, food aversions, serious food cravings, really sensitive pregnancy nose (I do have that a little), sleep issues (yet), internal issues/gas, horrible soreness...the list goes on and on. Like I said, I've been lucky. However, this last week I've been awash in hormones - weepy, sad hormones. It started around Saturday/Sunday with some general crabbiness and loneliness.

Craig's been gone since September 19th. I've been living at my friend Rebekah's place since September 20th. (Yay Rebekah!) Mostly, it's been fine. I've been busy and occupied so it hasn't felt really weird. Rebekah's dog Macy and our Brigid have been keeping me more than busy. However, I have increasingly felt out of place. My books, my clothes, my cats, my husband - all 3000 miles away. I've noticed it more and more as things I have always done in Columbia begin to come to an end. Craig and I said goodbye together to the church we attended. Places I'd go with Craig - movies, shopping, restaurants - I don't really go now because of cost/time/effort. I'm experiencing a slow goodbye with Columbia and it's weirder than I expected it to be. It's this goodbye that's getting to me. It makes me feel fairly solitary even when I'm with other people. They talk of their plans in a few week's or a month's time and I don't really have plans because I'm in stasis here before moving on.

This experience has been weird but it wasn't sucky until this last week. I spent Monday night in tears on the phone with Craig. I was sad and lonely and hormonal. I was also a little unsettled from having gotten a flu shot. I've never had one before and it was unsettling in a way that I can't explain. Nothing had happened. It was just bleh. Tuesday night was the worst as several things happened/coincided to make me feel completely unimportant and disposable. Wednesay and Thursday I was feeling better but by Friday the feelings of earlier in the week - loneliness, a sense of being apart, general crappiness - all came back with a rush. I said goodbye to my supervisors (she's at a conference next week which is my last week) and that was really sad. I've had a lot of supervisors through the years and she's one of my favorites. I cried on and off all the way home and then spent a good portion of an hour crying before watching some tv. I finally gave up and went to bed before 9pm. Today I watched the Office wedding on the internet and I cried because it made me miss Craig. lol I'm a basketcase!

I know that a good portion of all of these tears and issues are pregnancy hormones. I've had to say goodbye and leave a lot of places so this isn't new. I'm also really excited to get to a new place and start planting some roots. My brother flies in in a week and my parents will be up for Thanksgiving so family time is just around the corner. (On a side note, it's been almost 5 years since I've had Thanksgiving with my family so I'm STOKED!) The baby's heartbeat was strong at the last visit, my weight's on track, my blood pressure rocks, and I *think* I'm feeling some beginning flutters so the Bean's doing well. Life is essentially great and yet I'm a big knot of woe lately. Go hormones!

I feel bad for Craig because he's dealing with a teary, pregnant wife over the phone. Phones are not our communication medium of choice and I think it's wigging him out a little. I've devoted today to nurturing me. I got some decaf iced coffee this morning and added my daily glass of milk to it. I need to clean a bit, apply for some jobs, and maybe even give myself a pedicure. I think a day of calm like that will help me feel a bit more normal/grounded. After all, I want to enjoy my last few days here and say goodbye to my friends without being crazy! :)

On the Move

The Falvo family is beginning its westward trek. Craig left this morning at 6am with two sedated cats. They're bound for the St. Louis, Mo area tonight and should arrive by 5pm-ish Central. He'll have 3 more legs of the trip before getting into the Seattle area on Tuesday. I promised I wouldn't cry until after he was gone and I kept that promise. No tears until he pulled away. :) It made it just a little worse that it started sprinkling as he left - very fitting and slightly depressing.

Brigid and I are hanging out right now in a messy, mostly packed apartment. It needs to be cleaned, culled, and then packed. Luckily, Craig's mom and aunt came down last weekend and helped us pack up 99% of the apartment. It's just odds and ends at this point. I'm sure it will go quickly in the next day or so. The movers will be here bright and early Monday morning.

I'll be so happy when this whole ordeal is over. It'll be nice to be in a new place - the whole family back together. I leave in 30 days with my brother on our cross-country drive and I'm kind of looking forward to it. :) 34 days until I can see Craig again. Not that I'm counting or anything!

Babies!

I meant to blog this a week ago but as my earlier post indicates, things are a bit crazy now. I'm a little over 13 weeks pregnant! Just when things couldn't get any more insane - right?

I found out on July 9th at like 6 in the morning. I was just 4 weeks along. I woke Craig up with the news and he got a little choked up. It was too cute! We told my immediate family and his the next day as we were driving up to visit his family for his grandfather's 91st birthday that weekend. We also told his grandfather, aunt from Maryland, and family from Chicago. We knew we wouldn't see them in person again so we felt it was worth it. I also told a couple close friends because I had to talk to someone about it! :)

We kept mum through much of August though I did tell my boss a few weeks later. On September 3rd (Week 12), we went into the doctor and saw an informal ultrasound. The OB said she could see a strong heartbeat and that was a good sign. The Bean tried to get away from the sensor and was pretty active. It was amazing! It was so active, in fact, that she couldn't get it pinned down to get a heartbeat. She's fairly confident that she can pick up a heartbeat at the next visit on Oct 1 (16 weeks). Sadly, Craig will be in Washington by then but at least he won't be missing the big ultrasound for gender or anything. He's pretty upset about it but he won't miss anything after that and I know he'll feel better once I'm out with him and he can feel the baby move and all that good stuff. :)

Big changes for the Falvo family!

Listen. The Falvos have become unstuck in time.

I almost don't even know where to begin. We've been stuck in the in-between times for quite a while and, while we've enjoyed those times quite a lot, things are changing. I titled this blog based off a Kurt Vonnegut quote, "Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why." I thought it was a good explanation of how we felt in relation to jobs, the seminary, candidacy, all of it. We were in a cycle of living and waiting and not really feeling settled but it wasn't worth whining because life is a series of those cycles.

Well, I sit months later, cribbing another Vonnegut quote to convey my new feelings. In the book Slaughterhouse-Five the main character becomes unstuck in time and goes on adventures of a sort. Well, our family is now in the same position. Craig has a job and we're mobilizing to move.

The Friday before last, September 4th, Craig and I flew out to Seattle, WA to meet a church congregation that Craig had interviewed with. We spent Friday touring the area, Saturday bowling with the youth and then eating dinner with the senior pastor, his daughter, the associate pastor, and his wife. Sunday was church and then walking around Seattle with the associate minister and his wife. It was amazingly fun, totally exhausted, and completely nerve-wrecking. Craig got the offer on Sunday and we spent the trip home (never ending trip) and the next day talking things over. They wanted him fast and we had to do a lot sight-unseen. There was a lot of excitement and not a few tears.

It's now 7 days later and we have an apartment waiting for us, a mover scheduled, and the apartment packed almost completely up. Craig leaves this coming Saturday morning. The stuff will be picked up either Friday or the following Monday. I move in with a friend Saturday and then follow him out in mid-October.

Scary but very excited. We've had our fair share of breakdowns but are thrilled with the opportunity. We loved the Seattle area, loved the people at the church, and really loved the pastors and families. :)

Craig's never lived this far away from family and this has been a bit hard for him. We're both really happy to be closer to my family (I'll actually have Thanksgiving with my family - it's been 4 years of Thanksgivings elsewhere!) but we're sad to leave close-by friends and family. It's a process of saying goodbye and maintaining contact. This will be a good thing for our family and I think we'll flourish in the new area. Change is hard but worth it.

Travels

Updates, updates. I've been terrible about keeping this blog current though I'm thinking that will soon change. What's been going on in our lives? It feels like nothing and everything all at once.

This past weekend we were up in the Pennsylvania/West Virginia area visiting the Falvo side of the family and attending a wedding reception. Craig's cousin was married in California in July and held a PA reception for all of the east coast people. It was lovely! So much fun to see family and get to congratulate the newlyweds!

Craig and I left Thursday evening at 5:30pm and arrived at his parents' house at 2 in the morning. Big mistake. I thought that we'd be fine - we're up late usually and Craig's done the drive that late countless times before. It wasn't awful but it just wasn't good. The distance seemed to stretch out in front of us with no visuals on the road. It was foggy and dark in the mountains and just ick. hehe Luckily, we had Friday to regroup and relax before the Saturday festivities and the inevitable drive back on Sunday. Sunday's drive, in the bright light of day, was not nearly as bad! :)

As I sit typing this, we're cleaning up from this past weekend and preparing for another trip this weekend. We leave Friday to fly to Seattle for a job interview for Craig. So excited!! Sadly, it's another whirlwind weekend that's going to leave us exhausted and kind of frazzled. We leave our house for the airport at 6am on Friday morning and we won't get back to the house until almost 8am on Monday morning (Labor Day.) We're looking forward to the trip. Neither of us have ever been to the Seattle area and it's sounding like the weekend's going to be packed with fun things to do. However, I'll be glad when I have a weekend at home to put things in order and relax. :)

More updates to follow as things start to happen!

Eventual Sharing

A lot has been going on and soon I will be able to write and share about it. Until then, know that our lives progress as usual - work, cleaning, dog walks, trips to see friends and family. :D